


Pas du tout

by orphan_account



Category: Smosh
Genre: Angst, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22145134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Strawberry hair and lavender scent used to give Olivia goosebumps, now it makes her sick.Love doesn't last forever.
Relationships: Courtney Miller/Olivia Sui, Sam Lerner/Olivia Sui
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Pas du tout

**Author's Note:**

> Mild reference to sex, not descriptive at all.
> 
> Song: Beaucoup by Lolo Zouaï

Strawberry hair and lavender scent used to give Olivia goosebumps, now it makes her sick. Waking up intertwined makes her head hurt and she just wants to run. 

_Quand je parle je sais_   
_Que tu ne m'écoutes pas_   
_Quand je marche tu me suis_   
_Mais j'en ai marre de toi_

They're sitting together on the couch. Their couch, Courtney's mind groans. Olivia is telling her about her day, Courtney is half listening. Olivia can tell, but she grits her teeth and continues anyway. She takes the half assed nods and yeahs in her stride, before turning the tv on. They sit in complete silence. 

Years ago, Courtney would put her arm around Olivia and they'd sit close together. Now they sit with a gap between them, pretending as though things are okay.

_L'amour ça brûle  
Comme une cigarette  
On a perdu le feu  
Sans l'aide d'allumette_

Somedays one of them will come home smelling like alcohol, the other like cigarettes. Sometimes one will come home at 12, sometimes at 3. They pretend not to notice though. As long as they look perfect to their friends.

_Oui je t'aime beaucoup, beaucoup, beaucoup_   
_Pas du tout_   
_Oui je t'aime beaucoup, beaucoup, beaucoup_   
_Pas du tout_

Every touch feels like hot oil. They both want to think being together like this will renew what they had. It'll sew up the tears of years passed. In the moment it feels great, but they both know it's not because of the other. Afterwards, the i love you's exchanged are always empty. Sometimes they'll sleep in each other's arms, but it feels like an obligation. 

_Quand un homme rencontre une femme_   
_Il voit la vie en rose_   
_Mais quand une femme rencontre un homme_   
_Elle voit autre choses_

Olivia is out on the town again. Her friends used to ask why Courtney didn't join. Excuses varied. She was tired, she didn't feel like clubbing, she had work late. So they stopped asking. All Olivia wants is to get shit faced. 

Hours go by, drinks are chugged and spilled. She's danced with so many people, some of them are friends and some are strangers. 

Someone sits beside her and she can feel their eyes on her. She whips her head around abd stares him in the eyes. She can tell he's startled before she bursts into laughter.

"My name's Olivia," she grins, too buzzed to care that he's a stranger. To her, he looks as drunk as she is.

"Sam," he grins, holding a hand out.

_L'amour est aveugle_   
_Je vois que t'as besoin d'aide_   
_Faudra trouver quelqu'un d'autre_   
_Pour chercher tes lunettes_

One moment she's talking to Sam. The next she's pressed to a wall, kissing him. She should consider Courtney, she knows that's not faithful. But Sam is making her feel better than she ever could with her. 

That's how she ends up in Sam's apartment. She's in his kitchen, his living room and his bed. Shoes are left at the door and clothes are on the floor. The high is new. It's different and exciting. 

Courtney should be in her mind, but she's the last thing she's thinking about tonight.

_Au revoir bébé c'était bien_   
_Quand je dormais dans tes bras_   
_Je pensais qu'à toi_   
_Des fois_

Courtney knows in her heart. She knows she doesn't love Olivia anymore and it's the same back. 

When Olivia came back smelling like a cologne she's never worn, everything's confirmed. She should confront her, but they've been in this so long. Olivia could sleep around and she could keep smoking weed and cigarettes with the rugged group of people downtown. 

As long as they look like a happy couple to their friends.

_Trois cheveux_   
_Dans tes yeux_   
_Sois pas triste_   
_C'est pour le mieux_

One night comes along, the argument starts. The neighbours are concerned, but they keep in their place. Feelings are revealed, everything is out in the open. Olivia leaves to go pack her bags, Courtney stands and stares at the ground.

_Ton vieux sweat_   
_Dans mes mains_   
_Sois pas triste_   
_C'est pour ton bien_

Courtney lays on the couch that night. Sleep would usually come, but not tonight. She calls her sister, she cries and she cries. She says it hurts but she knows that they're tears of relief.

_Oui je t'aime beaucoup (Oh je t'aime)_   
_Beaucoup (Oui je t'aime)_   
_Beaucoup_   
_Pas du tout_

A car pulls up outside.

_Oui je t'aime beaucoup (Oh je t'aime)_   
_Beaucoup (Oui je t'aime)_   
_Beaucoup_   
_Pas du tout_

A man sits inside.

_Parce que c'est moi (Oui c'est moi)_   
_Pas toi (Pas toi)_   
_Je ne suis pas innocente_

They're facing each other at the doorstep, unsure of what to do. Do they hug, do they kiss for the last time? They stand there too long so instead they just nod.

"This is goodbye i suppose." Olivia says, clutching to her suitcase a little tighter.

"Is someone coming by for your bigger stuff?" Courtney asks.

Olivia nods. "My cousin said she would."

_Non ce n'est pas (Ce n'est pas)_   
_La première fois (La première fois)_   
_Je te souhaite bonne chance_

Courtney catches a look of the guy in the car, she knows she should feel mad. She should feel like kicking him and punching him.

Instead she feels almost grateful. Like he's taking a weight off her shoulders.

"So," Olivia mutters

"So."

"Good luck." 

_Bonne chance_

She walks away, suitcase clunking against the cobblestone. She shares a quick kiss with Sam, who's gotten out to help her get the suitcase in the trunk. Courtney stays rooted to the doorstep. 

The car starts moving, and it shrinks as it goes down the street. It turns the corner, then it's gone. Courtney closes her eyes and let's out a sigh, a small smile edging onto her face.

"Good luck."

_Bonne chance_


End file.
